feminish

The sun is warm here on the dry rocky plateau of the causse, and there are improbable numbers of flies from the sheep and goats. They have developed an unfortunate habit of mating on my shoulder. (I would normally call myself fairly fly-tolerant, but this proximity of parasitical procreation is pushing me over my bug-loving edge.)

The thing is, is the sun ever not warm?! Is the sun ever not shining? Sometimes on cloudy days I remember how hot and bright the sun still is - it’s just that the clouds are in the way. The sun is still shining, even on the greyest days.

I have a little game when I’m feeling stuck with something, or caught up in worries. I ask myself,

Where are the stars, Natasha?

It works every time. They’re there, and there and there and there. Just millions and billions of light years away, but in every direction, even in daytime. When I remember where the stars are things look different and I feel better (even in the middle of a newsroom).

I’ve been angry this past 24 hours, and I’ve been doing my best to take care of my anger. I’ve written a lot, I’ve talked to myself a lot, and last night I took refuge in the stars, which were bright (and the Great Bear didn’t look like a saucepan after a while….).

There’s a good little practice I once learned about what to do when I’m furious, when my buttons have been pressed. You know the kind of times. The times when you want to kick a wall, or throw something - or shout. (And if there’s a door nearby I’d want to slam it.) In these times, I do my best to follow this little gatha:

I close my eyes and look deeply.
Three hundred years from now
Where will you be and where shall I be?

As the zen master says,

Looking at the future, we see that the other person is very precious to us. When we know we can lose them at any moment. We are no longer angry. We want to embrace her or him and say,

“How wonderful, you are still alive. I am so happy. How could I be angry with you? Both of us have to die someday and while we are still alive and together it is foolish to be angry at each other.”

The reason we are foolish enough to make ourselves suffer and make the other person suffer is we forget that we and the other person are impermanent. Someday when we die we will lose all our possessions, our power, our family, everything. Our freedom, peace and joy in the present moment is the most important thing we have.

The sun is warm here on the dry rocky plateau of the causse, and there are improbable numbers of flies from the sheep and goats. They have developed an unfortunate habit of mating on my shoulder. (I would normally call myself fairly fly-tolerant, but this proximity of parasitical procreation is pushing me over my bug-loving edge.)

The thing is, is the sun ever not warm?! Is the sun ever not shining? Sometimes on cloudy days I remember how hot and bright the sun still is - it’s just that the clouds are in the way. The sun is still shining, even on the greyest days.

I have a little game when I’m feeling stuck with something, or caught up in worries. I ask myself,

Where are the stars, Natasha?

It works every time. They’re there, and there and there and there. Just millions and billions of light years away, but in every direction, even in daytime. When I remember where the stars are things look different and I feel better (even in the middle of a newsroom).

I’ve been angry this past 24 hours, and I’ve been doing my best to take care of my anger. I’ve written a lot, I’ve talked to myself a lot, and last night I took refuge in the stars, which were bright (and the Great Bear didn’t look like a saucepan after a while….).

There’s a good little practice I once learned about what to do when I’m furious, when my buttons have been pressed. You know the kind of times. The times when you want to kick a wall, or throw something - or shout. (And if there’s a door nearby I’d want to slam it.) In these times, I do my best to follow this little gatha:

I close my eyes and look deeply.
Three hundred years from now
Where will you be and where shall I be?

As the zen master says,

Looking at the future, we see that the other person is very precious to us. When we know we can lose them at any moment. We are no longer angry. We want to embrace her or him and say,

“How wonderful, you are still alive. I am so happy. How could I be angry with you? Both of us have to die someday and while we are still alive and together it is foolish to be angry at each other.”

The reason we are foolish enough to make ourselves suffer and make the other person suffer is we forget that we and the other person are impermanent. Someday when we die we will lose all our possessions, our power, our family, everything. Our freedom, peace and joy in the present moment is the most important thing we have.