feminish

Yesterday, someone came to this blog having typed “HOW TO RAPE SOMEONE” into Google.

(Hello, whoever you were in Falmouth, Maine, USA, using Firefox 2.0 on Microsoft Windows XP. It was 11.15pm for you and your IP was: 72.224.132.# (ROADRUNNER-NYC). I’m sorry you only stayed on here for 0.0 seconds and didn’t have a chance to read the part of my post about not raping women.

If I was a Christian, I’d be praying for you. I’m a meditator, so I’ll be breathing for you instead, doing my best to understand that this kind of Google search can only really come from somebody who is already suffering themselves.)

As you can probably guess, this troubles me. It troubles me that someone is interested in finding out (though granted it could just be research for a fiction book). And it troubles me that we’ve created this thing called the Internet where interested folks can find out. It’s not exactly something they’d ask down the pub, in the Classifieds or over the water cooler at work.

I ran the same Google search myself, to see how they’d got to me. I have a porn filter on my search preferences, I was using google.com, and I was mildly relieved at the results. The first is “How to Prevent Rape”, the second a little more dodgy (I didn’t click through), then there’s “Reduce the Risk of Becoming a Victim of Drug Induced Rape”, “Punishments for rape”, a social welfare article about rape victims, “Can someone rape and not know it”, and then my very own “Flesh, cloth and rape” post, from which Google picks out the phrase: “If you break into a house and find a woman there, don’t rape her. If your friend thinks it’s okay to rape someone, tell him it’s not”.

I felt a small wave of gratitude for Google come over me, and wondered if there was greater censorship than my (self-chosen) porn filter. I was then surprised to find that the term “how to rape” figures on Google’s search trend radar - there’s a fairly vague graph you can examine here, which tells you little more than that there was a marked decrease in searches for ‘how to rape’ in January and February 2006, whatever that might mean.

I’m still troubled by what drives a human being to want to search for those things; and I’m still troubled that we humans have created this beast of the internet that can (in principle) help people find out. After all, “HOW TO RAPE SOMEONE” is a different question from the much more reasonable “WHAT IS RAPE”, and presumably it comes with the corollary “HOW TO RAPE SOMEONE WITHOUT GETTING NICKED” .

I immediately recalled the hoo-haa a few months ago after AOL inadvertently released search data which included which user (a numeric ID) had searched for what (the data was swiftly removed but had already been mirrored here). I can deconstruct my visitor in Falmouth, Maine, and reflect on the bizarre ways in which their unhappy world briefly collided with mine… but it’s altogether more telling when you can pull together a user’s search history over, say, several months. The 3-month AOL database of search terms is startling, revealing as it does users’ deepest (and darkest) queries. CNET News.com pulled together a few user profiles, assembling their queries chronologically:

Based on the number of local searches, AOL user 1515830 appears to be a resident of Ohio’s Mahoning County. On March 1, user 1515830 was trying to find the amount of calories in chai tea and bananas. But on March 9, the searches took a darker turn:

chai tea calories
calories in bananas
aftermath of incest
how to tell your family you’re a victim of incest
pottery barn
curtains
surgical help for depression
oakland raiders comforter set
can you adopt after a suicide attempt
who is not allowed to adopt
i hate men
medication to enhance female desire
jobs in denver colorado
teaching positions in denver colorado
how long will the swelling last after my tummy tuck
divorce laws in ohio
free remote keyloggers
baked macaroni and cheese with sour cream
how to deal with anger
teaching jobs with the denver school system
marriage counseling tips
anti psychotic drugs

There was also this:

Some AOL users seem to be worried that an abusive partner in a relationship may come back to hurt them. This person, AOL user 005315, searched for information about prison inmates, gang members, sociopaths in relationships, and women who were murdered in southern California last year:

resources for utility bill paying assistance in southern california
section 8 housing southern california
los angeles county ca. gang member pictures
orange county california jails inmate information
fractured ankle
letters and responses written by women to emotionally
abusive partners
men that use emotional and physical abandonment to control their partner
warning signs of a mans infidelity or sexual addiction
the sociopathic relationship
southern california newspaper stories about woman murdered by boyfriend in pomona december2005
names of females murdered or found dead in pomona california in 2005
characteristics of a sociopath in a relationship
a person that shows lack of empathy
help in writing a letter to a abusive narcissistic ex boyfriend
how to hurt the narcissistic man
retaliating against the narcisisstic man

And this:

For a three-month period, AOL user 2708, apparently a resident of the greater Boston area, was searching for little else. Her search terms suggest that she signed up her ex-boyfriend for Columbia House CDs, articles on “gay life,” and Christian literature–while shopping for women’s Harley Davidson boots. User 2708’s ex apparently lives in New Hampshire:

revenge tactics
the woman’s book of revenge
dirty tricks for chicks
voice changer
how to humiliate someone
bill me pay later for cd’s
scams to play on people
how to get revenge on an old lover
i hate my ex boyfriend
how to really make someone hurt for the pain they caused to someone else
columbia house
advice from women who have seeked revenge on old lovers
makehimsuffer.com
how to say goodbye hurtfully
how to report child neglect in the state of new hampshire
free articles on gay life that can be mailed to me
free christian things
free gay magazines
free angry stuff to send to an ex lover
how to permanently delete information from your hard drive
makehimpay.net
women’s harley davidson boots
www.match.com
the worst thing to send someone via email
thong dancewear
locatecell.com
what can i do to an old lover for revenge
mean revenge tactics
death records in hampstead new hampshire

And this:

An AOLer who’s an avid motorcyclist and Mustang enthusiast near Reading, Pa., also has some darker tastes, if user 3544012’s search history is any indication. Making the situation more interesting is that user 3544012 may be getting married as well, if his or her searches for wedding table numbers are relevant:

homes for sale in pa
repo cars reading pa
where to get cna license pa (Ed. Note: CNA is a certified nurse aide)
homes for sale in morgantown pa
legends night club reading pa
beasteality
inceststories.free-beastiality.name
hourse f—ing free
progressive motorcycle insurance
circumsize pictures
all inclusive trip to las vegas
mustang svo 2.3 fuel pressure
table numbers for weddings
mustang cobra chrome roll bar
beastiality
coldwell bankers realty
harley performance cafe
mustang sally gentlemans club

I’m not really sure what to make of it, except to say: here is a whole load of suffering; these people are not happy. Presumably this sample is atypical - but I don’t know how atypical this kind of research pattern is, and how hard the CNET news.com researchers had to look. 1 in a thousand? 1 in a hundred? But the main point for me is the human side of this: I’m impressed that user 1515830, who was clearly suffering immensely, made space in her life to think about curtains, of all things. And I’m startled that the longlasting link between car mechanics and porn (I say the word: Pirelli) suddenly has such a vivid verbal expression in the juxtaposition of words flowing out of user 3544012’s head.

Fuel for feminist analysis, here. But also cause for compassion. A lot of it.

Yesterday, someone came to this blog having typed “HOW TO RAPE SOMEONE” into Google.

(Hello, whoever you were in Falmouth, Maine, USA, using Firefox 2.0 on Microsoft Windows XP. It was 11.15pm for you and your IP was: 72.224.132.# (ROADRUNNER-NYC). I’m sorry you only stayed on here for 0.0 seconds and didn’t have a chance to read the part of my post about not raping women.

If I was a Christian, I’d be praying for you. I’m a meditator, so I’ll be breathing for you instead, doing my best to understand that this kind of Google search can only really come from somebody who is already suffering themselves.)

As you can probably guess, this troubles me. It troubles me that someone is interested in finding out (though granted it could just be research for a fiction book). And it troubles me that we’ve created this thing called the Internet where interested folks can find out. It’s not exactly something they’d ask down the pub, in the Classifieds or over the water cooler at work.

I ran the same Google search myself, to see how they’d got to me. I have a porn filter on my search preferences, I was using google.com, and I was mildly relieved at the results. The first is “How to Prevent Rape”, the second a little more dodgy (I didn’t click through), then there’s “Reduce the Risk of Becoming a Victim of Drug Induced Rape”, “Punishments for rape”, a social welfare article about rape victims, “Can someone rape and not know it”, and then my very own “Flesh, cloth and rape” post, from which Google picks out the phrase: “If you break into a house and find a woman there, don’t rape her. If your friend thinks it’s okay to rape someone, tell him it’s not”.

I felt a small wave of gratitude for Google come over me, and wondered if there was greater censorship than my (self-chosen) porn filter. I was then surprised to find that the term “how to rape” figures on Google’s search trend radar - there’s a fairly vague graph you can examine here, which tells you little more than that there was a marked decrease in searches for ‘how to rape’ in January and February 2006, whatever that might mean.

I’m still troubled by what drives a human being to want to search for those things; and I’m still troubled that we humans have created this beast of the internet that can (in principle) help people find out. After all, “HOW TO RAPE SOMEONE” is a different question from the much more reasonable “WHAT IS RAPE”, and presumably it comes with the corollary “HOW TO RAPE SOMEONE WITHOUT GETTING NICKED” .

I immediately recalled the hoo-haa a few months ago after AOL inadvertently released search data which included which user (a numeric ID) had searched for what (the data was swiftly removed but had already been mirrored here). I can deconstruct my visitor in Falmouth, Maine, and reflect on the bizarre ways in which their unhappy world briefly collided with mine… but it’s altogether more telling when you can pull together a user’s search history over, say, several months. The 3-month AOL database of search terms is startling, revealing as it does users’ deepest (and darkest) queries. CNET News.com pulled together a few user profiles, assembling their queries chronologically:

Based on the number of local searches, AOL user 1515830 appears to be a resident of Ohio’s Mahoning County. On March 1, user 1515830 was trying to find the amount of calories in chai tea and bananas. But on March 9, the searches took a darker turn:

chai tea calories
calories in bananas
aftermath of incest
how to tell your family you’re a victim of incest
pottery barn
curtains
surgical help for depression
oakland raiders comforter set
can you adopt after a suicide attempt
who is not allowed to adopt
i hate men
medication to enhance female desire
jobs in denver colorado
teaching positions in denver colorado
how long will the swelling last after my tummy tuck
divorce laws in ohio
free remote keyloggers
baked macaroni and cheese with sour cream
how to deal with anger
teaching jobs with the denver school system
marriage counseling tips
anti psychotic drugs

There was also this:

Some AOL users seem to be worried that an abusive partner in a relationship may come back to hurt them. This person, AOL user 005315, searched for information about prison inmates, gang members, sociopaths in relationships, and women who were murdered in southern California last year:

resources for utility bill paying assistance in southern california
section 8 housing southern california
los angeles county ca. gang member pictures
orange county california jails inmate information
fractured ankle
letters and responses written by women to emotionally
abusive partners
men that use emotional and physical abandonment to control their partner
warning signs of a mans infidelity or sexual addiction
the sociopathic relationship
southern california newspaper stories about woman murdered by boyfriend in pomona december2005
names of females murdered or found dead in pomona california in 2005
characteristics of a sociopath in a relationship
a person that shows lack of empathy
help in writing a letter to a abusive narcissistic ex boyfriend
how to hurt the narcissistic man
retaliating against the narcisisstic man

And this:

For a three-month period, AOL user 2708, apparently a resident of the greater Boston area, was searching for little else. Her search terms suggest that she signed up her ex-boyfriend for Columbia House CDs, articles on “gay life,” and Christian literature–while shopping for women’s Harley Davidson boots. User 2708’s ex apparently lives in New Hampshire:

revenge tactics
the woman’s book of revenge
dirty tricks for chicks
voice changer
how to humiliate someone
bill me pay later for cd’s
scams to play on people
how to get revenge on an old lover
i hate my ex boyfriend
how to really make someone hurt for the pain they caused to someone else
columbia house
advice from women who have seeked revenge on old lovers
makehimsuffer.com
how to say goodbye hurtfully
how to report child neglect in the state of new hampshire
free articles on gay life that can be mailed to me
free christian things
free gay magazines
free angry stuff to send to an ex lover
how to permanently delete information from your hard drive
makehimpay.net
women’s harley davidson boots
www.match.com
the worst thing to send someone via email
thong dancewear
locatecell.com
what can i do to an old lover for revenge
mean revenge tactics
death records in hampstead new hampshire

And this:

An AOLer who’s an avid motorcyclist and Mustang enthusiast near Reading, Pa., also has some darker tastes, if user 3544012’s search history is any indication. Making the situation more interesting is that user 3544012 may be getting married as well, if his or her searches for wedding table numbers are relevant:

homes for sale in pa
repo cars reading pa
where to get cna license pa (Ed. Note: CNA is a certified nurse aide)
homes for sale in morgantown pa
legends night club reading pa
beasteality
inceststories.free-beastiality.name
hourse f—ing free
progressive motorcycle insurance
circumsize pictures
all inclusive trip to las vegas
mustang svo 2.3 fuel pressure
table numbers for weddings
mustang cobra chrome roll bar
beastiality
coldwell bankers realty
harley performance cafe
mustang sally gentlemans club

I’m not really sure what to make of it, except to say: here is a whole load of suffering; these people are not happy. Presumably this sample is atypical - but I don’t know how atypical this kind of research pattern is, and how hard the CNET news.com researchers had to look. 1 in a thousand? 1 in a hundred? But the main point for me is the human side of this: I’m impressed that user 1515830, who was clearly suffering immensely, made space in her life to think about curtains, of all things. And I’m startled that the longlasting link between car mechanics and porn (I say the word: Pirelli) suddenly has such a vivid verbal expression in the juxtaposition of words flowing out of user 3544012’s head.

Fuel for feminist analysis, here. But also cause for compassion. A lot of it.